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Recent Twitter Updates:“If this tractor would have sex with you, would you get rid of your wife?” Augusten Burroughs
“Well possibly, or maybe for a freight locomotive.” –John Elder Robison
I love this. I wish I could get my sister, Andrea, to explain in writing what it’s like to be a person with intellectual disabilities. That, however, would be a much longer YouTube video. 
I am not feeling too well tonight, but NaBloPoMo must go on. I’ll keep it short though.
I scheduled 3 estimates for painting the room today. Two of them did not show up on time. One never showed. In the middle of it all my neighbors son revealed a desperate need to work. He, like many people out there, is struggling and working through it by throwing lawn equipment into the back of his Dodge Neon and asking to mow lawns to break even. Lucky me, he’s been laid off from construction. SERENDIPITY in Action!
Priming starts tomorrow and he’s taking on the project. the pros who didn’t have the finesse to show up to a scheduled appointment to get business need not apply. When you’re hungry you don’t take anything for granted. The hunger for work is a rare but good ethic to carry into any situation. Stay hungry my friends.
I started priming the grooves of my paneling today. About 6 grooves later, I was exhausted and really overwhelmed. The wood sucks up the primer like a sponge.
I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I gave up. I put down the paintbrush, logged into Angie’s List, and scheduled estimates for painting the entire room. The first one is tomorrow morning.
It’s not that I couldn’t do the project. Physically, (if spread out over a couple weeks) I could manage it. However, I only planned to paint one wall. There were still 3 more walls to go. The prospect of barely finishing the project only to still have 3 walls remaining leaves me defeated. I would hold a paint party if there weren’t so much room for error with the paneling.
Maybe the expense is worth it. We don’t use the room now– It’s 4 walls and a ceiling of dark dreary wood paneling. Changing it into a bright room that is finished out and usable could make a huge difference in my mental outlook and could inspire changes to other areas of the house.
We’ll see if my cheap side wins out or if my defeated un-painting self gets the better of me.
Ok, yes. I was laid off on Friday. I’m sure this will provide me with plenty of material to write about once I figure out what the heck happened. I’m still pretty shell shocked (which surprises me) so instead of dealing with the reality of it, I’m pretending I’m on an extended dream ‘holiday’ taken with my fabulous imaginary European vacation days (don’t they get a month or more?).
To make the most of my illusions of grandeur, I’ve taken on a project that has turned out to have a similar scale of hallucination: Painting. I intend to transform ONE wall in my house into a happy thing to stare at. sounds easy right? Wait, wait…Here’s the catch: I picked the most difficult wall there was.
This is not your ordinary wood paneling. It’s not particleboard. It has 1/4 inch-deep routed grooves every 4 inches. It’s shellacked, stained wood. It’s old. It’s dingy. It’s knotted. It’s real wood.
Did I mention it’s real wood? This is why the whole room is still in this current state, 3 years after we moved in. The guilt over painting real wood has been debilitating.
But now that I’m newly liberated from 45 – 50 hours of my previously planned weeks, I am looking at this guilt in a whole new light.
I’ve been dumped, and so I’m dumping the guilt. Sometimes we need a whole new jolt in our life to realize that the things we hold onto based on idealism sometimes become things that hold us back and keep us from growing. It’s a painful lesson, but one I’ll be reinforcing with every painful brushstroke in those dingy routed paneling grooves.
Today I found myself with a lot more time on my hands than I’m used to. I prefer not to go through the details right now, but the circumstances leave me wondering how I will fill my upcoming days. Thankfully, National Blog Posting Month starts November 1. There is my cue. So, plan on hearing much more from me in the coming days.
I’m excited to get back to my passions– connecting people to causes, empowering people with social media and digital communications, and restoring my sense of wonder through creative activity. Will you join me in this adventure?
